If you happen to not know me already…


I have lived in 10 cities in the US and 4 countries. I have traveled South and Central America extensively, as well as Asia including Southeast Asia.  I’ve lived with drag queens in Toledo, yuppie tech trust fund types in Seattle, off the grid commune hippie types in Denver, a huge group of Latinos in Southern Cali. I’ve lived with an extremely conservative Christian, a proper Brit-ish gay man in his late 40’s, an early 20 something Australian surfer dude bro type, and among many others a Jamaican rasta queen. I’ve worked in numerous sectors from nonprofit management to food service to landscaping to education. I spent tons of time in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast after Hurricane Katrina working on the various rebuilding projects. It took me forever to finish undergrad because I was too busy moving and traveling and getting real life experience.

I have insomnia and don’t remember a period of my life where I’ve been able to just sleep well* At one point in my life I had 200 gigs of music so when people ask me what kind of music I like I don’t really know how to answer*I understand the stock market, it’s a pattern, but I also apparently have a bit of a gambling problem so I stay away from it*I plan on living off grid within the next 10 or so years, just me, a little house, 5-10 acres of property, and a huge garden*I’m a jack in so many trades, but a master in nothing*I’m pretty decent at chess*I missed the tsunami in the Philippines in 2013; one of the strongest recorded, I missed it by about 48 hours*I love language*I can’t ride Ferris Wheels, but I think they’re pretty to look at*Hemingway, Dickens, and Steinbeck are some of my favorite authors*I love Vaudeville and musicals*I studied lit, American history, and linguistics *I’m surprisingly decent at math*I hate driving*I love snow and gloomy bleak weather*I’ve known one of my closest friends since I was 2, and the other since we were 5*I’m a bibliophile, I don’t just read a lot, I collect books, even ones I know I might never get to*Brad Pitt once bought me lunch; he wasn’t there, but his money paid for my lunch*I’ve met Salt from Salt ‘n Peppa; street cred*I’ve also met Anderson Cooper*I genuinely love people*I collect sad stories, people just tell me their sad stories, and I don’t know what to do with all the sad stories in the world*I like Old Timey radio shows because the voices are interesting*The movie My Girl still makes me tear up just a little bit*I watch Ancient Aliens for the scenery*I have an uncle that makes Rusty Shackleford seem normal*I follow some fucked up rabbit holes knowing it’s not true but wanting to see how far people will take it*I have hiked to the bottom of The Grand Canyon*I’ve kayaked a portion of The Amazon River*I don’t have an ounce of anger in me, sometimes I become disillusioned, but I can’t get angry about anything anymore*I’m not shy, I’m actually quite chatty, but I won’t speak over anyone ever under any circumstances, so I don’t do well in larger group type conversations such as dinner parties or what have you or let’s bring that into the internet era; streams and hangouts*I’ve never read any of the Harry Potter books or seen any of the movies*I lose hours of my life to crappy horror movies with horrible acting and shitty effects*I don’t understand how to properly use hashtags or emojois so I just don’t*For some reason I’m drawn to extremely cynical and dark people, this has gone on since childhood it is weird as I’m very light and genuinely pretty happy*I have a strong aversion to anime; with the exception of Miyazaki I simply cannot get into it *I’m especially competitive at monopoly…no really…fuck off; we’re not friends when playing monopoly, I’ll fuck you over and not think twice*I’m a reading teacher who thinks To Kill a Mockingbird is kinda over rated*I can fill in a blank world map with countries, capital cities, major cities, major points of man made interest, and geographical sites with amazing accuracy*I pick up on languages really quick*I’ve never taken a selfie*I used facebook for about 3 months years ago and forgot all about it*Twitter makes me feel like I’m dyslexic so I don’t use it*I’m an atheist who has never listened to and or read more than maybe 10 combined minutes of people like Dawkins, Hitchens, Harris, etc…they dreadfully bore me, I’m sure they are smart, but they are boring*I’m horrified by the idea of space travel and leaving Planet Earth and will not be one of those people on the early space trips*calliope music makes me extremely uncomfortable*