Preface; I don’t mean anything I say here. I’m sure all these people are great people. They are probably smart, funny, kind, caring people. I bet there are tons of books we would agree on. I like meeting people who have read some of my favorite books even if we disagree. I genuinely do enjoy that. But sometimes I get sad…just a little…and like any other self-respecting internet dweller to remedy this; I find people online I disagree with and tell them that they are wrong. But I’m far too nice to say these things to these people, and I don’t say these things to these people because this is petty and about as stupid as arguing over music, and of that I’m aware. Instead I say it here and let out some steam. You guys took me too seriously last time around, I don’t care if you don’t like these books, I still love you guys. It’s ok, just let me vent a little. I have fun with this. Also for the record, there are plenty 1 or 2 star reviews that I leave alone because they are perfectly reasonable.


***Examples of Acceptable 1 and 2 Star Reviews***

Vanessa 2/9/2007 2 stars

“I read this one…not really my taste, but its very good. its a lot of fantasy woven with history and some furistic stuff thrown it. This author is a nobel prize winner. I’ll try to read it again.”

Samantha 7/8/2013 1 star

“I just wasn’t into the magical realism and circular, repetitive, incestuous plot, although this novel does conjure some vivid images and the prose was nice.”

Both of the above are acceptable and there are many other acceptable 1 and 2 star reviews as well. The people below need my help, and far be it for me to see someone in need and turn a blind eye.

Dale Pearl 12/14/2015 1 star

“History repeats itself. Ok I get it. It takes 432 pages to tell me that? The moral of the story is that no matter how good or bad you are you are only following a pattern that cannot be altered.
Puke. This book is probably over rated by the same folks who drool over Brave New World. 
This book is only equal in stink to Brave New World.

I really don’t get the point of why I stuck out this book over several weeks. It was a waste of my time and the author needs to refund me for the time I spent towards it.”

Thanks for the birthday present Dale. Comparing this to Brave New World is absurd, one book is sophmoric and follows a pattern found in all other dystopias, the other book breaks literary boundaries. If you ‘got it’ like you said you did, why did you keep reading? I would like to suggest the revolutionary act of quitting something when you don’t like it and are not obligated to continue.

William 3/13/12 1 star

“Nothing happens and it happens over and over again in the most boring way possible.”

Nothing? Death, birth, love, jealousy, marriage, a dangerous exploration into the jungle, the discovery of science, the rise and fall of a banana republic, political upheaval, a revolution, plagues, wandering vagabonds, magic carpets, gypsy circuses, flying fish, discovery of ancient Sanskrit texts, mental insanity…..what else needs to happen for it to not be nothing?

CC 2/16/16 1 star

“One Hundred Years It Took Me to Get through this Book in Solitude. Please. Make the worship of GG Marquez stop.”

Clever. Maybe you’ll you the enjoy the company of Aaron down below, he also really knows how to play with words.

Aaron  4/19/09 1 star

“The author of this book should have been condemned to one hundred years of solitude.”


Kerry 9/25/15 2 stars

“It took me nearly one hundred years and plenty of solitude to read this book and if I had another hundred years in me, I might try to read it again and then i might, just maybe, enjoy it. But as it goes, I don’t have the time or the patience.”

Oh Kerry it’s cute when you try to be creative.

Nick 6/25/15 2 stars

 Simply put, Gabriel Garcia Marquez was mean.”

Mean? How so? Because his characters weren’t important? Does that bother you and maybe make you realize you might be just as insignificant?

Sandra 5/13/14 2 stars

“The portrait of a hundred years of nothingness. I found it very nihilistic. Other than the comical and satirical description of some aspects of Latin-American culture, I think this book doesn’t provide any useful message. I enjoyed some parts though, but profoundly disliked others. It is quite bizarre and presents several links to biblical texts but that is not what I disliked. My problem with the book was basically that no one is good or bad, nothing is right or wrong, there is no solution to the problems of life, and whatever the characters do or do not do leads always to sadness and solitude. It is an endless story full of trivial events in which it doesn’t matter who you are, what you believe, or what you do, at the end nothing is important.”

Yes, that is the idea. Nothing is important, no matter who you are, you are not important.

Elisa 8/17/09 2 stars

“I liked this book… when it wasn’t being explicit. I liked seeing the complexities of the family relationships and how individual choices rippled through generations. You couldn’t say you were living your own life and could do what you’d like. Everything impacted those around you. Anyway, so I liked that reminder. But. I finally decided it was too explicit in certain places (and the writing style didn’t really leave you the option to just skip those parts because you never knew they were coming til they hit you in the face). Not that the acts were condoned or glorified, but they were just too “informative” at times or encouraging to the imagination at others, in my opinion. I wouldn’t want my teenage daughter to read it. So I shouldn’t either, I suppose.”

You wouldn’t want your teenage daughter to read it, so you shouldn’t?  I don’t want my 6 year old niece watching Tarantino films, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy one from time to time. Try giving yourself more credit than a teenager. Keep sheltering her, that’ll work well.

Pam 8/21/2011 2 stars

“This was an Oprah Bookclub pick and I read all of her picks. If it had not been for that, I would never have read this book because it is a translation and I’m never sure if everything gets translated correctly plus it is magical realism which I am never sure I completely get.
It was work to finish it but finish it I did. When something that is supposed to be fun, like reading a book, becomes work, it is difficult to give it more than 2 stars.
It has been 7 years since I read it and I can’t really remember anything much about it except confusion.”

If you have a problem with translations you are going to miss out on some of the greatest lit ever written. Ana Karenina (Russian), The Prince (Italian), Don Quixote (Spanish), The Hunchback of Notre Dame (French),  have all been translated, do you really intend on denying yourself such treasurers because they have been translated? Also if it is of real concern to you it’s easy to check the reviews on the translation of most books. But Marquez himself said that the English translation did it more justice than he could have ever hoped for. Maybe don’t let Oprah decide your reading list for you. You are an autonomous free human being, you get to make your own decisions.

Stefan Zak 7/27/16 2 stars

“It is mad, and absolutely perplexing. Time isn’t linear, laws of reason are broken, you just can’t take what the author says straightforwardly.”

Life is mad and absolutely perplexing. It’s not straightforward.

Tara 6/15/2008 2 stars

“Good grief, this is one of the worst books I’ve ever read and I’m convinced that people only pretend to like it. Who can keep track of what’s going on when everyone has the same name? I’m almost inclined to give it one star but I’m afraid of being heckled.”

I don’t pretend to like anything. The point is that the characters don’t matter, that life happens to everyone all the same; love, death, hardships, happiness, the characters are meaningless just like our existence. The names don’t matter, the characters don’t matter, life just keeps happening and history keeps repeating itself over and over.

Nikki 1/24/2009 2 stars

“The characters and story were very weird.”

Well Nikki, thanks for your input, it’s really helped move the conversation forward.